I really doubt that surgery will be necessary.  Do you have some sharp scissors?  I can walk you through it, save you a couple a bucks.

I’ve seen this many times.  It’s invariably fatal.

For gosh sake, get dressed!  This is a TELEPATHIC  examination, you moron!

Well, yeah, that is a little high but we have medications that should bring it back in line.  Of course, they have a few side-effects but we have medications that should keep them under control.  Of course, those have side-effects as well but we have...  

You work too hard.  You sleep too little.  You’re trying to live on a diet that leaves you malnourished yet you worry about your weight.  In other words, welcome to the ‘90s!

Oh, jeez!  Who do I look like?  Masters and Johnson?

Hmm... might just be a wart or something.  But you’re right, it’s weird looking and it seems to be growing larger by the second.  Wow!  Now there’s two of them!